'Joe Bell' served as a parental wake-up call for Mark Wahlberg, teaching him to 'loosen the restraints.'

'Joe Bell' served as a parental wake-up call for Mark Wahlberg, teaching him to 'loosen the restraints.'

You may have heard Mark Wahlberg boisterously belting lyrics to Lady Gaga's gay anthem "Born This Way" if you were in the right place at the right moment - in this case, on a desolate highway in the middle of nowhere.

Half-shouting and off-key "Don't conceal yourself in sorrow / simply love yourself and you're set," he was, of course, performing as "Joe Bell" (in theatres Friday). "I must have listened to that song, and just that song," Wahlberg says during a Zoom call from Los Angeles. 

Based on a true story, the film follows Joe's journey across the country on foot, beginning in spring 2013 in La Grande, Oregon, and ending in New York, to teach a message of tolerance and the harmful effects of bullying to anyone who will listen, from bar customers to auditoriums full of people, in order to honor his 15-year-old gay son Jadin (Reid Miller).

The Gaga-infused moment, which occurs less than 15 minutes into the film, also includes onscreen son Jadin. Unfortunately, it is one of the film's few bright spots: Viewers subsequently learn that Jadin committed suicide as a result of the bullying depicted in flashbacks. Joe's vision is the Jadin we encounter on the roadway.

Wahlberg, 50, says the bittersweet moment allows Joe to envision what his life may have been like if he had been a better parent and supported his son more fully when he came out.

Wahlberg has learned to "be a little gentler" with his children.

"It was clearly extremely terrible for Joe to learn, 'Oh, my God, I am as culpable as these kids who were bullying my son, because I didn't love him the way he needed me to and I didn't support him the way he needed me to,'" Wahlberg says.

With his wife of over 12 years, model Rhea Durham, he has four children: Ella, 17, Michael, 15, Brendan, 12, and Grace, 11.

Making the film tested Wahlberg's parenting abilities. "I was stricter with my children, and after shooting this film, I guess I decided, 'OK, well, let me release the restraints a little bit.' Being a bit gentler is the greatest approach to get them to be totally honest with me and talk with me about anything."

Wahlberg has discussed bullying with his own children, emphasizing the need to "always standing up for somebody else who is being picked on and being an example."

Miller, who portrays Wahlberg's son, was tormented as a child in a tiny Texas town. His artistic ambitions did not fit the usual pattern of participating in football or other sports. Even in a loving home, the bullying had a traumatic effect.

"If people don't know you and are too young, ignorant, or unskilled to grasp the power of words, they will just say the meanest things," he adds. "Knowing that I at least had some experience in knowing what it's like to feel alone, to feel ignored by the people around you, was a major connecting point for me and Jadin."

'A difficult person,' says Joe Bell.

Wahlberg speaks deliberately but cautiously about the actual Joe Bell, who only made it as far as Colorado in October 2013 before being killed by a vehicle on the highway, sadly ending his journey. Joe is described as a "complex person" by the actor.

"He believed he was doing everything he could and should to protect his family," Wahlberg explains. "Because he had been molested as a youngster, he believed he had truly developed. 'OK, but, I don't beat my kids,' he reasoned. As a result, I'm already performing a better job.' But he didn't realize how important it was to accept and embrace Jadin for who he was."

Wahlberg thinks Joe's message comes over in the film. "Hopefully, this will affect a lot of individuals like Joe, who was going to talk to folks all throughout the country," Wahlberg adds.

Miller urges others to check in on persons who are important to them. Genuinely inquire about the well-being of friends and relatives.

"Just knowing they have someone like you to depend on may completely transform someone's day, and certainly help the trajectory of their life," he adds.

When in doubt, listen to "Born This Way."